I'm sick of being a disappointment to my parents and not being someone that they can actually be proud of. Funny how I was so cheerful in the morning but thoughts about letting them down just crashes me. Alot of things run through my mind huh. And doesn't it hurt when you think you can trust your brother and tell him secrets or keep his secrets but he somehow just abuses that trust and maybe, proves you wrong? And it does hurt when you know you love someone the most, but they don't. I hope my parents can still trust me, maybe they do, but I'm just really afraid of breaking that trust. They can be so nice at times but appreciate my brother so much more on other times. Oh why am I peeing from my eyes again.

I actually care about how much my dad and mom loves me and if they still do like how they used to when I was young. And maybe get some love from my brother too since I love him dearly. And I actually mind if my parents love my brother more than they love me urgh why am I such a selfish sister.

It's time I start to actually please them and make them proud of me so from the moment I post this, if you see me on fb or twitter or tumblr or wtv, I grant you every right to slap me cos I still have lots of hw to be done and I need to make my mom actually happy.

Cos I hate disappointments just as much as how I hate disappointing others.

I just hope I can do something right, for once.

I love my family the most but I doubt my parents actually know that.

sigh that's why i'm actually troubled since they don't know and somehow, i need them to know.

no one should be reading this post because it just doesn't deserve to be read.