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posted : Tuesday, July 24, 2012
title : Emotional distress.
"my thoughts are stars i cannot fathom into constellations." all the time.
Disclaimer: this post might not make sense for all the junk in my head.
certain social websites aren't even private anymore with so many people reading what we type/post and constantly being judged. so i shall return to my long-'forgotten' blog which i only use when i have no other place to express myself(comfortably.)
so many emotions these two days, especially. saturday has been good, watched Ice Age 4. but then the week begins and emotions start to build up. Thinking about all kinds of unnecessary things and over-thinking unnecessary thoughts. Always giving in so easily. I bet others who have the same problems as me would just brave up and live it through, i'm just weak, still.
If i could go to the beach and scream all of my fears out loud, i would. but i don't have the time.
Don't you just feel really worthless sometimes? It's so funny, some nights you can be laughing and having the best time of your life being high and happy but then there are also nights when you feel so down and emotionless, or rather so full of emotions you're a complete mess.
People keep bringing your past up, nobody forgets all your wrong-doings. Just when you start to actually be serious about stuff, all these 'barriers' are there to trip you.
I'm the one who has caused myself to fall into this endless hole anyway, there's no one to blame.
But I just feel.......feel so empty. Like i'm not even me anymore.
I hope no one is reading this cos honestly idek why i'm currently sitting infront of my computer typing non-stop. maybe it's because i'm just so lonely i have no one to talk to. no one to confide in? actually i do, but idk what's stopping me from opening up to people. Humans are so ________ sometimes.
The world is such a tiresome place to live in sometimes.
Actually, i had lots of stuff to say in mind before dinner(yes i just ate dinner) but now i hardly remember any.....too much crap in my head. Maybe if i stop trying to recall all the bad and sad things that have happened, i would feel better? yes maybe.
sorry to those whom i've kinda daoed today. why am i apologising to the internet (since nobody reads this anymore)
Nevertheless i'm thankful for Loo for being there for me on monday and people who trust me. cos it means alot to me
YOU CAN NEVER GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
p.s. this post is just for me to see how contradicting my thoughts are and....not for this fragment of my life be forgotten. |
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