and it's a strange thing, a strange feeling. something happened but i don't know what. within 4 days things changed. but i still don't know what happened. and i don't even know if i wish to find out. and i wonder if people actually know my blog because i hope they don't because it's where i pour my heart out and....a heart is a weak....thing. so this is kinda where my achilles heel is being known to the public and even if you find this blog i clearly hope you have no idea who i am.




because even i don't know what's been going on lately and i hope no one gets the wrong idea/ misjudges/ jump to conclusions and assumes.


so many ands and what ifs and sighs in my head will things get any better. hate it when i think so much because i'm the kind who thinks of every single possibility or scenario that could happen and 50% are negative situations. although 50% are good things, but still, there are that 50% of trouble and failure and hopelessness. can't believe i'm actually saying this again after 365 days but- humans are so weird and i don't think i can ever fully understand them(or myself) and i don't know if the idea of having someone there for you really exists